With all the phone puns available, that’s the one I decided to go with.
Vodafone has to decided to end their pursuit of naming rights for London Stadium, the home of West Ham United. The deal, which was rumored to be in the ballpark of £6m a year, would have been a nice cash boost for the board to utilize. Hell, it would have paid for half of Pablo Zabaleta’s salary.
There has been no shortage of speculation regarding the motive behind the sudden cessation of talk. The most popular reason being cited is the HMRC raid on West Ham United’s financials not so long ago. Could Vodafone have taken one look at that financial hotbed and said, ‘Nah, we good’? Maybe, but I sincerely doubt it. You’re basically paying for advertising which is, in no way, tied to taxation of player salaries and transfer fees.
Either way, we’re out of a sponsor and will renew the search for a new name. Since we are a helpful bunch, Brace The Hammer has come up with a few names of their own for David Gold, David Sullivan, and Karren Brady to consider. Let’s start it off, then.
Potential names for London Stadium
HMRC Field - Part of the board’s plea deal to stay out of jail, they agree to give the naming rights for no charge, to Joanna Baldwin and company.
Samsung Arena - After the literal fires that were caused by the Note 7, the South Korean giant decide to partner with the biggest dumpster fire in East London.
The Ribman Rotunda - Obvious reasons.
Chicken Run - Chicken Connoisseur becomes minority shareholder and ups the stadium's chicken game.
Simone Zaza Fun Zone - Initial plans to rename the stadium the Bobby Moore Stadium have been withdrawn due to objections from the family, therefore the club are looking at renaming it the Simone Zaza Fun Zone.
Mobile Virgins - Can’t forget our roots.